Oneness 2002

I was driving up Rt. 13 from the Stewart (Stewart means guardian) Park area headed towards the mall (franchise) when I looked to the left, as is my manner to look at sun sparkles, sailboats or other activity on our Lake (which is the longest deepest of the finger lakes), when I looked , I noticed a new “overflow” area, an area flooded with water,( where currently, in the natural, there is another road that goes up alongside the lake), I immediately pulled my car over, got out and dove headfirst  into this “overflow” area.

I was swimming, with agility and ease, north, there were tall majestic pines on either side of this “overflow” area, it was, and I’m guesstimating…35’ across and maybe a mile long. I was an underwater acrobat, I was free and flowing in this water, turning, twisting, diving, breathing underwater, I was so fast too. I really enjoy swimming but this was EXTRAORDINARY. I got to a place at the end of the “overflow” area that opened right up from the water, it had steps like cement house steps, only the full length of the opening of the “overflow” area. One would walk out of the water and right into this House, natural as anything.

As I was swimming towards the stairs, I saw a man standing there waiting for me.  I didn’t recognize him, but, I knew him. He was not particularly striking in any way, until you looked in his eyes, there was a deep fire, His gaze went right through me. At first I was a little embarrassed as I realized I had nothing on, my insides scrambling as my I desperately looked about for something to cover me, my hands awkwardly trying to cover, frantic….ashamed, unworthy, such a knowing gaze humbled me, exposed me. I wanted to hide, but where? Where could I go? So I just stood there. I put my hands down deliberately clenching them to my sides, I squinted, my eyes shut tight…yielding myself humbly to His all too knowing gaze. “Fine!  Look at me and see it all and leave, see my weakness, foolishness, vast imperfections, fears, and ugliness, grossness…be disgusted and walk away.” My mind was resonating with these thoughts.  I opened my eyes surprised to see Him still standing there, gazing at me…loving me. Yes He good see all my imperfections, but, I felt He knew other things also, sweet things about me that no one else noticed, saw or even cared about. Times when I really tried, reached out to care for others, put my all into so many things, pour my love out to others.  I felt so known, thoroughly known and in that…thoroughly loved. I had never felt so utterly exposed and so utterly loved all at the same time.

He knew everything about me and deeply, truly loved me, I was undone. It’s difficult to describe the fear and relief that I felt in those moments…but I knew I was His forever, completely. My reciprocating affection was all that was required, from that moment on, we were One. I could feel His presence…the substance of His being throughout my whole being. I was Beloved of Him and He was certainly my Beloved, I would follow Him whole heartedly, without reservation anywhere. I just wanted to be with Him always. With one gaze He captured my Heart.

We communicated without speaking, and I followed Him down the stairs in this House of the Water.

The House was bustling, I noticed wooden pillars and many rooms, this house was huge!  I felt like there were places that went really deep, beyond what I could see. There were people, lots of people,  and  as soon as we looked at each other I felt them, there was an incredible bond between all of us who entered here. It was Home…. HOME –home.  I had such a deep sense of Love and Peace, I could exhale, I just wanted to be in this place and explore, I barely got beyond the foyer, but my Beloved was heading back toward the water. He didn’t tell me, nor had He turned that direction yet, I just knew, I was One with Him.

We joyfully jumped in the water, and instantly we were actually One, from the heart down our bodies were one body….I could not tell where He ended and I began…nor did I care! We swam with the same acrobatic ease together as I had by myself, only there was more power.  I cannot describe the joy, the exhilaration of moving with someone like this! He paused as He wanting me to look (again…no Words) at a door for dance and worship, the door was to one side of the “overflow” area, it had a picture of a leaping dancer on it and it was purple…the door that is, it had a couple of steps leading up to it, the entrance did not have the same ease of entrance that the other House of the water had. The door was narrow. I felt like this was our Worship Gathering  and wondered why it had a closed door, but also felt that this door wasn’t going to remain…changes would come that would burst this gathering wide open…like the House of the Water it would have no door, it wasn’t time yet, things were still being formed…gestating.

We plunged under water and went to deep places; I enjoyed looking at His face and yielding to His knowing gaze. I was completely abandoned to my Beloved, so enraptured, truly, this was beyond. We came to the surface with such speed; we must have looked like a dolphin breaking the waves with such height…there was power in this oneness. Then we started singing, at the same time in harmony a new song I’d never heard before. His voice reverberated through my Being and our voices together became a force in itself. We sang a new song I had never sung before, high and low, soft and mighty, all as seamlessly as if we’d sung this song a hundred times before, I wasn’t following His lead in this song I was singing it forth with Him, As if it flowed from the same place in our Heart. It was as intimate as kissing and yet as powerful as Hurricane Winds or Thunder, as One Voice…it was a force to be reckoned with.

Suddenly I was on the shore, next to my car and I stood and looked at my Beloved and told Him I had to go get my kids (I didn’t speak it out loud).  I didn’t feel sad leaving Him, well mostly I didn’t, because I felt like He was a part of me. I didn’t feel like I would ever truly be away from Him, He was part of my DNA, in the fabric of my being, in my voice,  part of the motivation of everything I do…He’s in it.

As I was driving towards my house from the Stewart Park (short drive), I see Him in the backseat.

He smiles, I melt. 

He asked, “Are ready do this on Monday mornings?” This is the morning of our prayer meetings,  at the time our prayer meetings were on another hill in our fair city but I felt it would be downtown in the direction we were headed. I also felt that our prayer times were going to be what I had just experienced with Him, that Oneness, power, yielding, breaking waves, going to deep places, being exposed and loved, worship warfare, voices unified for greater power…synergy. It’s difficult to fathom what power small prayer groups truly have, and the depths of Glory we enter into when we yield wholeheartedly into His Presence.

“Yes”, I replied. I felt there was a solemn charge in this as well…this was no small thing.

~end of dream~